Anubis would not let me pass.

Much like the title says. I’ve been feeling very lost and confused in my life as of late. I’m beginning to come out of a year long depression. I did some tarot readings for myself before a long meditation earlier today using two different decks, and the messages were the same from both: 1) I’m confused, apprehensive and need to commit to a way 2) Commiting to a way will release myself of this doubt and illusion I’m experiencing, allowing the self to be swept into bliss and 3) The wheel of fortune keeps turning, paths are opening and closing and I will reap what I sow if I continue to be apprehensive and distrustful of myself.

With these things in mind I meditated deeply on the idea “all is welcome.” A while into this meditation, the image of Anubis came to me. He led me through a forest lit by moonlight into a dark stone temple. Suddenly I was before him offering a bowl of water. I looked up at this god that was suddenly 10 feet tall in front of me and although he said nothing, I knew he was telling me this was as far as I could go here. Suddenly I was running through this temple, trying to see what was hidden but Anubis stopped me. I knew it was foolish to try and defy him, and I felt silly for even trying to run through this temple without his permission.

I have a pretty good idea of what I am meant to take away from this, namely I’m trying too hard to seek Truth and Answers instead of letting them come to me the right way. However, I was curious to see what this community thinks and to see if there is any advice on how to move forward that I can’t see.

Appreciative of all responses from anyone, anywhere along their path.