Microsoft Excel is such a great application. I’ve managed to turn this big old mess of numbers into a nice group of data that is easy to analayse. Oh look at that there’s even a graph
Nkulu of the Underworld, hi fiery crown atop his horned was crying in the background ‘Greg please stop. Please kill yourself do the right thing’
Oh has somebody got the grumps today, can I make you a decaffe cup of coffee or how about a cup of herbal tea.
‘Greg we were bound to you when you summoned us, to lead you astray to torment you. You’ve become terrifyingly pathetic, this is torture. Kill yourself
Say, have you seen the new keyboard I’ve got its got a light so it can shine in the dark when I’ve got to work late. It’ll be like I’m at a disco.
Morhag The King of Sin’s red skin trembled, his hoofed feet quivered ‘Greg we understand the lifestyle before is unsustainable you can’t get in brawls with bikers over Meth and Women at concerts. But this is so much worse man, you smile when you say the word tax return, washing up or dustpan. You record reality television. Maybe we could go somewhere in the middle.’
Say Morhag why don’t I knit you a scarf like I did for my Wife’s boyfriend!
‘This is what I’m saying Greg its gone to far, there is a man fucking your wife in your bed right now’
Clair is a woman you just can’t tie down you guys I love that about her
‘Clair is a vanilla 35 year old librarian Gregg, on an adventurous day she wears a cardigan she is no hell raiser, we find it terryfying how hard you worked yourself to be in the cuckholded position, everything you own is in her name.’
Gosh I hope they don’t leave a sticky mess like last time, that took hours to brush out. Say they must be famished, why don’t I rustle them something scrumptious to eat, that would be swell wouldn’t it
‘No it would not be fucking swell Gregg’ Ramago The Breaker whimpered his chains and exoskeleton shaking ‘why are you doing this to us, this is too much.’
This is growing up guys this is what growing up and becoming an adult is like long gone are days of unprotected sex in the street, of getting high, travelling the world, of having crazy friends and stories this is what moving forward is all about furniture not taking up too much floor space!
Clair shuffled into the room in a dressimg gown decorated with cartoon smilimg cows with her hunched back and blank face and one eye looking very enflamed.
‘Gregg we need more milk’ she whispered before shuffling out like a robot.
Gosh that must be thirsty work huh Clair! Off I go then none of that full fat milk though!
‘Please Gregg take the car we have slashed the brakes’ the demons all said in unison ‘end this for us please’
For you guys? Sure why not! But golly driving is bad for the environment, I’m walking come along… you have to I suppose.