As I stepped inside the doorway, I first noticed the change in the air. The brisk chill of an early Spring day was quickly forgotten in lieu of the thick heat inside the plain looking house. Some may have described it as off putting, but I found it rather curious in an attractive way. My senses told me that I had entered a nefarious space, and I was excited to see what came next.
My answer came quickly, with equal parts humor and dismay. A cat appeared at the end of the hall. It seemed normal in every way except for one: it had unquenchable passion in its eyes. Slowly it strolled closer, its strut seductive in nature. I had a miserable time stifling my laughter, but if the cat noticed it didn’t show. Soon it was at my feet, purring like a jet engine. It wanted me in a way both undeniable and impossible.
Things were off to a good start.
I heard the lovely voice from my date call from the kitchen. “Tea is ready!”
I made my way carefully, the cat still spellbound at my ankles. Upon entering the kitchen my foot hit a more solid block. I looked down only to find…another cat. This one was of a different sort. It was thick with fat, and apparently ignorant to the world outside of its bowl, as it didn’t even notice my accidental kick. The purring of the first cat was now replaced with the endless gnawing and chomping of its solid housemate.
I looked around the room and noticed that my friend was now absent, but a cup of tea sat on the counter steaming away. Assuming it to be mine I made my way across the room. Just as I went to pick up the cup from the counter, a gust of wind came from my right. I looked over just in time to see a calico blur, before hearing the shattering porcelain on the ground below. I spun around quickly and noticed a small, speedy cat with my former teabag in its maw. All I could do was laugh. This was strange, but thoroughly enjoyable.
I made my way out of the kitchen and into the living room. A voice from up the stairs told me to make myself comfortable, and so I scanned the room for a nice chair. I spotted a recliner on the far side of the room next to the window, but noticed it was covered by another furry friend. After making my way over, I politely asked my new friend if I may have the seat. With molasses-esque pace the small creature stirred, slowly spinning around as if it couldn’t make up a direction to go. Finally it stopped, only to yawn. I laughed for several moments before realizing the creature was still yawning. On and on it went, until I realized it might never stop. And so I moved on.
The sounds of the first three cats emanated from the kitchen as I slowly studied the portraits on the wall, until there was a mighty cry. More akin to a small roar than anything else, I worried for the other cats’ safety. I hurriedly backtracked, and found that a large, aggressive cat had taken over the kitchen. Even the thick one, that seemed so immovable a short while earlier, lay splayed out on all fours. All three whimpered at the paws of their conqueror. Concern replaced some of the joviality I had felt throughout this experience, but I was still oddly fascinated. What was at work here I was not sure, but I…liked it.
As the dominant cat smirked confidently at me, a smaller cat of similar appearance walked through the door by the food bowl. It’s eyes looked longingly at the powerful figure in the center of the room. It kept its distance, out of either respect or fear, but I could tell it wanted to climb the mountain it saw before it. It looked at the three vanquished cats on the floor not with pity, but with near regret. Not at their fate, but rather some sick wish to have been able to do so itself.
I watched the curious dance for several minutes before I realized what was taking place. I wasn’t positive, but I was beyond the point where I would be surprise if my hunch turned out to be true.
I slowly backed out of the kitchen, and noticed the cat from the chair finished its yawn at some point, and had since disappeared. I thought I might as well have a sit, so I again made my way over to the chair, which did indeed prove quite comfy.
Almost immediately after sitting, I noticed a beautiful, fluffy tail bouncing atop the stairs. It strolled down and into the room with grace and confidence like no other animal, human or otherwise, that I had ever seen. It walked in front of me, crossing over my feet in both directions several times, without ever acknowledging that I was there. My attempts for a quick pet here and there were met with an elegant agility that told me I was not deemed worthy to approach its heavenly fur. I took the hint and stopped trying, and watched with awe at the arrogant display.
After some time, my companion’s voice flowed down the stairs one more time.
Slowly, legs that were human yet horrid appeared on the steps. A scorched and scarred body came into view. There were no horns, no tail, no pitchfork, but I knew for certain whom I was dealing with. A few moments later they stood before me in the living room, oddly bashful, yet utterly beautiful.
“Lovely, simply lovely,” I said.
“So, you’re not scared off by my pets? But what I am? By the…implications?”
I smiled, now confident of the feeling that had fallen upon me when I first stepped through the doorway.
“No, I feel right at home.”
r/psalmsandstories for more details by me, should you be interested.