[WP] You work at a discount spells shop, slashing prices with magical (and cheap) workarounds.

“It’ll do the trick,” my boss, Carry said to the customer, shaking the wand too hard, and subsequently his round belly. Sparks sputtered, then landed on the ground, before the tip of the wand caught fire. The surprised customer jumped back, then left, head shaking on the way out.

I walked over to the small fire burning a hole in the floor and stomped it out casually, before blowing out the wand like a birthday candle.

“Those are a fire hazard,” I said, dully.

Carry wiped the char off the end of the wand, and walked to the magical limbs and fingers section, where a few hands and toes had run off when we’d accidentally left the cage open.

“Get this place cleaned up,” the boss grumbled. “It’s a mess.”

I sighed, opening a magic book and flipping through the spells (and fine print):

3/4 Wart Remover. (Almost Wart Free)!!!!

Invisibility Spell: (For your pet)!!

Hover butt! (Enchant your ass to float so you’ll never have to look for a chair again)!

Well, that’s a new one. . .

Finally, I found what I was looking for in the back of the book, noticing the author’s waning enthusiasm and exclamation points as the book went on. I put my finger on the spell I was looking for:

Cleans stuff: (Better than nothing).

Shrugging, I picked up another unsold, charred wand.

“Hocus Pocus, clean this shit,” I read the spell aloud from the book, then waved the wand in the air.

The room exploded, soap pouring from the walls, everything smelling of lysol, and looking like a giant bubble bath.

I groaned. My boss groaned.

Sighing, I ripped the page out of the book, putting it on the overflowing “annoying curses” shelf with a half price sticker stuck to the top.

My boss was still staring at me.

“I’ll uh. . .” I stuttered. “I’ll grab a mop.”

I shuffled out of the room quickly.

Definitely time for a new job. . .

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